Family and Systemic Constellations (FSC) is an established therapy with facilitators all over the world looking for the source of patterns that repeat within families.
This therapy has been used in personal therapeutic, legal and business settings for over 40 years.
Why would I want to have my own Family Constellation?
Because often difficult personal situations become accepted as ‘normal’. People say “ oh she’s always sad”, or “ she helps everyone else and doesn’t take care of herself”, or “ he’s always angry”, or “ she’ll never get married, she looks after her parents” and “ that couple are always at yelling at each other, that’s just how they are!”
On a personal level we get used to who we are and how we respond to situations, we become so accustomed to living with stress and anxiety in our bodies that it’s hard to imagine how it would feel without them. Sustained stress and anxiety are a result of being on high alert all the time. Our limbic brain is looking for the tiger in the jungle – which may be the angry boss, the demanding partner or the bank and the mortgage etc.. when we are living on high alert our body is producing cortisol and adrenaline. Over long periods these hormones create damage to our internal organs. We feel run down even exhausted, overreact to people, conversations and situations.
When strong uncontrolled emotions, repetitive behaviours and addictions become a part of who we are, we stop noticing the destructive effect they are having on our life, relationships, finances and physical health. We accept that this is us, this is our life, and yet often we didn’t create these difficulties!
Image 1. The science of Epigenetics provides one explanation for our Family Constellations and works to clear burdens in our family and body.
Not all behaviours and addictions are created by you! FSC enables us to research your ancestral family, where you might be carrying ancestral trauma. This deeply respectful process allows you to acknowledge issues from within your family lineage that may be affecting you and your behaviour today then release them from: your DNA, your body and subconscious mind.
The Science behind FSC
The history you share with your family begins before you are even conceived. In your earliest biological form, as an unfertilized egg, you already share a cellular environment with your mother and grandmother. When your grandmother was five months pregnant with your mother, the precursor cell of the egg you developed from was already present in your mother’s ovaries. Essentially, before your mother was even born, your mother, your grandmother, and the earliest traces of you were all in the same body—three generations sharing the same biological environment. Also in your paternal line, the precursor cells of the sperm you developed from were present in your father when he was a fetus in his mother’s womb. Biological sciences show us that stress can be inherited and that the biological residue of traumas your grandparents experienced can be passed to future generations through DNA. Additionally, the cell biologist Bruce Lipton showed that our DNA could be affected by both negative and positive thoughts, beliefs, and emotions. It follows then that we carry at least three generations of trauma and wisdom in our DNA
So how does an FSC session work?
Initially, the facilitator will ask “If we could make a change today, what would you like?” The facilitator will also ask you, “how will you know when this has occurred? What will it feel like? How will your life be?” As we start to work, often clients already begin to see the emergence of behavioural patterns in their family they had previously not noticed!
You can work 1:1 with a facilitator where you do an activity called ‘in your mind’s eye’, or you can use software: e.g. Relationchips: where the disks represent the people, emotions, illness and other aspects that need to be seen. You will see each disk shown below has two ears and a nose, so you know which way the object or person is facing. Alternatively, you can attend group FSC workshops. At the workshop, you may get to have your own constellation, or you may attend as a representative. What is a representative? The people attending the workshop who are not having their own constellation, are ‘asked’ to represent a person or object, by the person who is having a constellation. You may be asked to represent the client, their parent, illness, war or secrets etc. As we are working in “the Knowing Field” the facilitator,
representatives and client all receive information, emotions, images and knowledge that guide the process so that issues that are impacting on the client become visible.
Here is how Family Constellations shifts burdens for you. The healing words and movements free the client from ancestral trauma or difficulties. This process enables them to bring life force, wisdom, courage, country, culture and more, into their current life. They are invited to live free of the burdens and difficulties they have been living with and ask their ancestors to support them.
Here are two client sessions summarised, so you can get a sense of the personal change that happened:
In a recent group constellation: the client has ‘a condition’ that is linked to thoughts of ‘Something is wrong with me’ ‘I’m not normal’, ‘I don’t trust myself’. Strong emotions of anger and frustration due to feeling like she has no control; she was contracted and not sure what might be possible for her future self. During the constellation, we discovered that along her mother’s lineage, each woman had a ‘condition’ and several had died from their ‘conditions’. When the client saw the women in her mother’s
lineage and saw that out of her strong unconscious desire to belong, she had a condition too. There came about a profound shift within her. She saw the love and connection flowing from her back through her maternal line and from them flowing to her. She felt how she belonged; her ‘condition’ had a meaning and became a sacred link to her ancestors. All in the group felt the reframing at the end of the constellation. The client felt this most intensely: as expansion, peace, trust in herself and her body. Crucially, she felt a sense of belonging within her family.
She can now lean back into the healthy, strong women in her lineage whenever she needs support, and of course, all the women in her lineage wanted her to be healthy, happy and at peace.
The physical contraction that she was feeling in her left ovary had dissipated. Even though this will not cure her ‘condition’, as the mind and body comprehend the role of the ‘condition’, its impact on her health may reduce substantially. ‘The condition’ was seen and understood. It doesn’t need to impact her day to day life – it no longer needs to call to her for attention!
Client session #2
In this individual Family Constellations session, a middle-aged male client discovered why he couldn’t finish things – in subconscious honour of his Scottish Grandad!
He discovered that he didn’t value the exchange of money also in honour of his Grandad; his Grandad lived a life of easily attracting money to him but never being able to hold onto it.
He also discovered that the many illnesses, ailments and symptoms he was living with that impacted his health and quality of life were not his, but the illnesses of others. He subconsciously took these on in his own body to ‘help’ others.
He also found that he had a choice….
To stay the same or leave these burdens where they belonged… with love and compassion.
This mindset gave him the freedom in his own life to be himself.
Facing the next chapter of his life, and creating the business, he has only dreamed of for years. And he will achieve it now because the burdens of his ancestors and others he sought to help are gone.
They were never his to carry .He has much deeper love and connection with his grandad, and knows that for most of his life, he has honoured his grandad by emulating him!
I have explored deep concepts here, so let me summarise by saying: when traditional therapy isn’t making inroads into relationships, parenting, personal behaviour, family cohesion, business, finances, or health issues, exploring them with FSC may provide the deep movements from your ancestral and family lineages that make positive, lasting change possible.
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This article was written and provided by Rosey Meads from The Essential You – Counselling and Family Constellations.